gLee: Season 3, Episode 3 - "Asian F"

Recap
I must admit I was looking forward to this episode a bit more than usual, a result of spending too much time on the internet reading all about the critical buzz that was preceding it. Every early review I read would gush about how it was just like the good ol' days of glee, and they promised I wouldn't be disappointed. So was I disappointed? Of course, but not because I was foolish enough to have actually been expecting it to be a blast from the past. It certainly could have been much worse, but the only thing about it that stood apart from any other episode for me was the fact that Mike Chang had an entire storyline to himself.

An "Asian F," in case you were wondering, is the Asian equivalent of receiving an A- grade in school. After Mike gets one on a Chemistry test, his dad tells him that he has to quit the glee club, since "dancing is something you do at a wedding. It’s a hobby, not a career." In an act of Asian Defiance, he instead auditions for the role of Riff in West Side Story, which he can do now that Tina has conveniently taught him how to sing. Or at least how to lip-sync.

Look, I'm all for acknowledging the lesser-appreciated characters (of which there are many), but this storyline was not at all the revelation it was made out to be. They just barely developed Mike Chang into any more of a character than he already wasn't. He has been a member of New Directions since the beginning of the first season, and before tonight he had probably been given a total of ten separate sentences of dialogue, none of which told us anything about him. In an attempt to prove to us that he is more than just the "other Asian" who's always dancing, they used Asian stereotypes to tell us more about his love of dance... So, he's exactly the same person he was before, but apparently has an absurdly irrational father who resents him for it? Gotcha. I can't wait to see what happens next week, when he'll probably once again be relegated to an obscure yet swift-footed afterthought.

Along with the Changs, we are also introduced to Emma's parents. After she makes it perfectly clear to him that she doesn't want to see them, Mr. Schuester goes behind her back and invites them over for dinner because he never has had a very firm grasp on what it actually means to be a good person. Her parents are "ginger supremacists," and we are shown that her mysophobia stems from their own racism, despite us previously being told that it began after her brother pushed her into the runoff lagoon at a dairy farm (remember that?). Once Emma starts obsessively shining her silverware in trepidation, her mother starts calling her "Freaky Deaky" and Mr. Schuester does the admirable thing for once by telling them that they are terrible parents. He plans on being the opposite of them when he and Emma have children of their own, which realistically wouldn't be happening any time in the foreseeable future. Emma is clearly moved by his defense, but unfortunately she's moved all the way back to her old ways of compulsively wringing her hands and scrubbing her phone with a toothbrush. Bieste was right - Will is such a catch!!

I thought last week was The Auditions Episode, but we reach their destined peak tonight when the role of Maria pits Rachel and Mercedes against one another. Artie, Emma and Coach Bieste are unable to decide between the two, so they assign the same song for both girls to perform at a callback. The callback in question is inexplicably attended by every single member of New Directions, and Puck is so excited he can barely sit still. Yeah, okay. They both sing the song perfectly of course, but Rachel concedes to Finn that Mercedes was better, before storming off to... Coach Bieste's office... and entering herself in the race for class president, since there would appear to be no other faculty members employed at this school. Seriously, they at least could have used Principal Figgins for that part.

I'm really glad that Rachel is running for class president now because it has been way too long since she got a storyline to herself, and omfg this show. I know that the writers have always compared her to Tracy Flick, but they threw that girl away a long time ago. While I don't necessarily think that she would do a bad job (we already know her to be a passionate hard-worker), there are plenty of other reasons this particular plot twist is stupid and/or makes no sense. First, Rachel is the one who convinced Kurt he should run, hoping it would increase his chances of getting in to NYADA, and now she's running against him? Impeccable support system, attagirl. Second, in the Season One episode "Mattress," we learned that Rachel is/was a member of just about every club at McKinley, from the Renaissance Club to the Muslim Students Club. Assuming that Season One Rachel and Season Three Rachel are the same person (lol, jk), filling up on extra-curriculars should not be of major concern to her; that girl is getting into a good school, or would be if there were any other potential schools in this world besides the fictional NYADA. Third, within the context of the show there is no way Rachel would ever receive a majority of the vote with Kurt Hummel and Brittany S. Pierce as her opponents. Her own boyfriend doesn't even plan on voting for her.

Furt 4ever, ♥

It was all for nothing though, because our ace directors still can't choose between the two girls, so they are double cast in the role. That is the exact opposite of a plot twist. Rachel takes this to mean that Mercedes will perform on Saturday and Sunday mornings while she gets all the evening shows, because it seems Rachel is a humongous idiot who has learned nothing since the start of the series. Mercedes is having none of this, so she turns down the part, quits New Directions entirely, and generously offers her self-professed star power to the rival glee club I completely forgot that Shelby is starting.

*sigh*
When will the writers realize that this show is so much better when the kids are working together towards a common goal and not sabotaging each other all over the place? You can still find drama there, don't worry.

Speaking of sabotage, is Mercedes supposed to be a good guy or a bad guy? It seems every time they do a Mercedes Empowerment Episode she comes out looking like a monster, but she doesn't act like that any other time. Even if she did, we probably would never know about it since the only time ever utilize her anymore is in their annual Mercedes Empowerment Episodes, and for the occasional solo. It felt as though we were meant to side with her and believe she deserved the role more than Rachel, but exactly what would we base that on? The scenes at Glee Club Boot Camp showed us that not only can she not dance (an issue that's never existed until tonight), but that she isn't even willing to practice for more than five minutes without crying exhaustion and maybe being pregnant. I don't know how much dancing skill is required for the role of Maria, as I've never seen West Side Story, but work ethic is work ethic. Rachel's constant assertion that the role inherently belongs to her is beyond annoying, but if there is one thing glee has taught me it's that Rachel Berry will stop at nothing to be the best. Finn even says that she practices her dancing every day on her own, and I can totally imagine her having a set schedule for that stuff. Also, you can't deny the continuity here; We've known since Season One that Maria in West Side Story is Rachel's ultimate dream role. Without a hint of irony she once told Mr. Schuester, "I thought I made it very clear that anything from West Side Story goes to me." I'm not denying anyone's right to audition, but if McKinley High ever put on a production of Dreamgirls and Rachel went in for whichever character Merecedes likes, every single person who watches this show would absolutely detest her for it.
Regardless of how you feel towards her or Mercedes, Rachel is more deserving of the role. She cares more and it means more to her. Besides, she was a much better sport throughout all of this than Mercedes was and Rachel is rarely a good sport, proven by the fact that she still refuses to drop out of the election even after she is officially cast as Maria. WTF?

The cast list contains very few surprises when it is finally posted, because I don't think there are any other students at this school, either:

Maria .......... Rachel*

Tony .......... Blaine*

Anita .......... Santana

Riff .......... Mike Chang

*If this leads to any more Rachel/Blaine bisexuality nonsense, I'm done.

Coming up next week… Nothing, because there won’t be another new episode until November(!), but they're hinting at a possible intimate connection between Puck and Shelby. Makes sense continuity-wise since we already know that Puck has a thing for MILFs, and Shelby is an adopted MILF. But still… yuck, Puck.

Musical Performances
"Spotlight"
Performed by Mercedes
Why do the writers bother to acknowledge their Rachel bias in the scripts if they always continue to feature her more than every other female character on the show combined? Think about it - one of the main reasons this episode was made such a big deal of is because it is told from the respective perspectives of three characters who aren't Rachel. That shouldn't be a high accomplishment for a show that claims to have an ensemble cast.

"Run the World (Girls)"
Performed by Brittany
Brittany also enters the race for class president this week on a feminist platform, and she is given her very own pep rally to debut it at because it's Brittany and we all adore her. It reminded me of the Kurcedes diddy "Four Minutes" from the Madonna episode, only with worse music and less realism. How did she change outfits so quickly? Why would Quinn care to help?

"Cool"
Performed by Mike Chang
I enjoyed it more than I expected to, but there is no way he was able to teach the entire football team how to dance like that so suddenly. There is also no way that the same guys who pelted Finn with paintballs for joining the glee club and drew on his face before picture day would ever agree to help Mike Chang audition for a role in the school musical. Unless, of course, they've all experienced more character development than most of our actual characters. Who auditions with backup dancers, anyway? I demand to know where Karofsky is.

"It's All Over"
Performed by Mercedes & New Directions
Did Mercedes quit the glee club, or did they quit her? When random musical numbers blur the lines between reality and imagination like this, I never know what’s going on. And honestly, must they so frequently dress up Kurt like one of the girls instead of one of the guys? There we go again, reinforcing stereotypes.

"Out Here On My Own"
Performed by Mercedes / Rachel
In an episode filled to the brim with musical performances I didn't care about at all, this was probably my favorite. I wouldn't necessarily say that either one of them sang it better than the other, but Rachel sounded pretty certain of Mercedes' superiority, so that's that.

"Fix You"
Performed by Mr. Schuester
The only song in this episode that I've actually heard before. I liked the way it was intercut with the posting of the West Side Story cast list, and the lyrics fit well into the Emma storyline, but that falsetto just reminded me of the horrific moment last year when he started singing Prince. Oh my god. The kids' matching outfits during the performance were by far the most Season One-esque thing in the entire episode, except not really because MR. SCHUESTER IS NOT A MEMBER OF THE GLEE CLUB.

Leftover Observations

• Mercedes asks why nobody is ever willing to hurt Rachel's feelings, which is total crap because Rachel has been insulted at least once by nearly every single character on this show, as well as by most of the people who watch it.
• Awyeah, Breadsticks delivers!
• Apparently Santana is back in the glee club now. Erm... how and when?
• I found the whole Asian vampire thing just as unfunny as I did last time. Poor Jenna Ushkowitz.
• The episode made references to events of previous seasons! Threw me for a loop.
• Emma refers to Mercedes as "our little girl" while looking at Mr. Schuester... Oh really, since when?

Highlight of the Night
Mr. Schuester - "Why haven’t I met your parents?"
Emma - "Because… they’re dead."
Mr. Schuester - "You spoke to them on the phone last night."
Emma - "I spoke to their ghosts last night. I have ghost parents."

Gleek of the Week

Emma, one of the few glee characters who doesn't frustrate me on a regular basis. I forgot how much I don't dislike her, and Jayma Mays owned this episode.