Recap
At the start of this week’s episode, Caroline and Rebekah (who is undead again, yay!) are alone together in the school gym cleaning up after last week/night’s Decades Dance. Rebakah is officially Rebekah in mind and body again, but her spirit has been crushed as a result of not even getting to ATTEND the dance that SHE organized (her mother seriously could not have picked a more unfortunate night to kill and possess her), so she doesn’t even utilize any of her usual quippy insults towards Caroline; she merely apologizes for her mother’s hand in Alaric’s death. Little do they know that Mama Original compelled Bonnie to help him complete the transformation into Originalaric, who has been sitting in his old classroom just down the hall this whole time, probably listening to their entire conversation. He goes in to attack them and they manage to turn the last White Oak stake on him, but thanks to Mama Original’s magickal protection it doesn't even kill him temporarily. He just looks at it and pulls it out. This gives the girls just enough time to escape to the parking lot, but given that Caroline is a vampire who can run faster than a car can drive, it’s a bit silly and foolish that she bothers fumbling around with her keys, amiright? Turns out I am right when Originalaric runs up behind her, snaps her neck and drags her back in to the school by her hair. And because Mama Original didn’t also compel Bonnie to make him a daylight ring, he does all this while frying up in the mid-morning sunshine, and he just barely seems to mind. I admit it’s pretty badass, and well worth the whole Caroline-running-to-her-car thing.
Rebekah learns from Caroline’s mistake and runs home with her feet to inform Klaus that not only is Alaric Saltzman still live and kickin’, but that he is now stronger than them and in possession of the last White Oak stake, which Klaus was tricked into thinking he destroyed last week. She wants them to get the hell out of Mystic Falls immediately, so she keeps to herself that he is now also in possession of Caroline. Klaus isn’t thinking of Caroline, though; he’s thinking of Elena and her sweet, sweet doppelganger blood. He wants to batnap her on their way out of town, and Rebekah, clearly hurt that he’s still putting his hypothetical hybrid army before his actual family, flees with nothing but her dignity. You go gvrl.
Rebekah learns from Caroline’s mistake and runs home with her feet to inform Klaus that not only is Alaric Saltzman still live and kickin’, but that he is now stronger than them and in possession of the last White Oak stake, which Klaus was tricked into thinking he destroyed last week. She wants them to get the hell out of Mystic Falls immediately, so she keeps to herself that he is now also in possession of Caroline. Klaus isn’t thinking of Caroline, though; he’s thinking of Elena and her sweet, sweet doppelganger blood. He wants to batnap her on their way out of town, and Rebekah, clearly hurt that he’s still putting his hypothetical hybrid army before his actual family, flees with nothing but her dignity. You go gvrl.
Even though we now know that this week is only supposed to be the morning after the events of last week’s episode, Elena and Jeremy have already gotten rid of Alaric’s things and are repainting his former bedroom, because keeping themselves occupied saves them from thinking about what’s been lost. Stefan shows up to offer assistance, but Jeremy has had it up to here with these stupid vampires and their stupid ways of destroying all of his favorite people, and I kinda wish Anna would show up to comfort him. Instead, Damon shows up with a fully conscious Bonnie to inform everyone that Alaric bit more than just the dust last night.
Actually, he only informs Stefan of this. Elena finds out on her own when Originalaric calls her cell phone and, in his best Ghostface imitation, tells her that he has Caroline and demands she report to class immediately, unaccompanied. Somehow in the midst of all this hullabaloo with Bonnie and her hundreds of dead witches, Elena is able to sneak out of the house undetected, which turns out to be a relatively good idea when Klaus comes a-knockin’ shortly thereafter. Unlike Elijah, Klaus has never been invited into the Gilbert household, but like Elijah he has a knack for throwing stuff through windows with supernatural force and causing unexpected mayhem. Remember the coins and the double-tempored glass? Klaus about does the same thing with a newspaper and their sitting room window before blowing apart the front door with a rubber ball. The whole thing is wonderful, but I’m curious as to why none of the neighbors wonder what’s with all the ruckus. After an entertaining attack of makeshift picket fence stakes during which Stefan tells everyone to stay down but they each keep popping up like a game of Wac-A-Mole, Klaus is preparing to torch the house when Stefan comes out to inform him that the human blood bag isn’t even home. He quickly calms himself down when he learns what Caroline is up to. Bonnie, who appears to have found time to shower, change, and restyle her hair since Klaus first arrived, chooses this perfect moment to come out and tell them that she thinks she might be able to use her mother’s desiccation spell to kill Originalaric, but in order to stop his heart she will also need to stop a human heart, to keep Mother Nature from feeling lopsided or whatever. Cut to Jeremy brooding out in the breeze whilst fiddling with his evil resurrection ring. Looks like you’re gonna die again tonight, Jer.
Poor, innocent bystander Caroline, despite almost never partaking in any vampire-related activities, once again finds herself stuck in the middle of everybody else's paranormal drama. I say stuck in the literal sense, as Originalaric has her gagged with a vervain-soaked handkerchief (“It’s like inhaling razor blades with every breath”) and bolted to a desk with pencils through her hands. He isn’t much more hospitable towards Elena when she finally shows up, insisting that she and her vampire-loving ways are a disgrace to the Gilbert family name. Oh, and remember that time Elena expressed interest in being a vampire hunter? I sure don’t, but Ric does and for some reason he wants her to kick off his reign of terror by staking Caroline herself. They weirdly try to make this suspenseful, but of course she doesn't agree to do it because of course she doesn’t agree to do it. She does, however, manage to break the beaker of vervain against his face and free Caroline, whom the writers suddenly remember can run at super-human speed, enabling her to escape the classroom successfully. Elena and her pathetic human legs, on the other hand, aren’t so lucky. Originalaric takes her out into the hallway, throws her up against a few lockers and threatens her life enough times for her to wonder why he’s all talk and no walk.
The Salvatore brothers briefly show up to rescue her, but Originalaric breaks both their necks in a one-two punch of nonchalance that really did catch me off guard. Next comes Klaus, also quickly overpowered, and Originalaric is inches away from staking him for good when suddenly Elena reappears holding a knife to her throat. Remembering Mama Original’s thorough disdain for immortality, Elena draws the conclusion that her blood was used in the spell to tie his life to hers, ensuring that one way or another, he won’t live forever. She threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t let Klaus free, and even goes so far as to actually begin doing so, but it turns out she guessed correctly and he begs her to stop, becoming distracted just long enough for Klaus to break free, grab Elena and disappear. Funny how after spending all season trying to figure a way to kill Klaus, they are now risking their own lives to save his. Not that I'm complaining; the man is absolutely delightful.
Elena later comes to and finds herself tied to a chair in Klaus's haus. He has compelled a nurse to drain her of all her blood, which will not only kill both she and Originalaric, but will leave him with the only part of her that he ever deemed valuable. I like that no matter how much Klaus loves Caroline and yearns for her to love him back, he still has no qualms about hurting the people she cares about for his own personal gain. It's kinda admirable in a treacherous sort of way. Tyler eventually comes in and attempts to free Elena but Klaus catches him in the act, learning once and for all that sire bonds are not entirely unbreakable. Just as he begins to throw another violent-tempered tantrum, the Salvatore brothers come to the rescue, part II. Damon and Tyler pin Klaus back while Stefan gets a firm grip around his heart, which is what they intended to do to Alaric so that Bonnie could perform her spell. As he dies a slow and painful death, Klaus and Stefan stare into each others eyes and share a mutually sobering moment of betrayal and regret, and I find myself praying for a deus ex machina that does not come. Off in the woods somewhere, Bonnie succeeds at killing Jeremy, vamps out a bit, and promptly loses her shit because omg why is Jeremy is not alive?!? She is annoying. Coming back from the dead is a process, girl. Have some patience.
Before taking off to dump Klaus's body into the Atlantic, the Salvatore brothers drop a seemingly unphased Elena off at her house; front door inexplicably intact. That was not the deus ex machina I was hoping for. Elena decides that this is the perfect time to finally explain why she is so hesitant to declare which of them she chooses to be with forever and ever and ever. She claims to have lost so many people that she can't bare the thought of losing either one of them even though she realizes that she must, and this entire conversation is uncomfortable for all the wrong reasons. I'm sure it was probably meant to be some big breakthrough moment or something between the three, but it all felt much too self-aware and also perhaps a tad snobbish on Elena's part. As if she knows about being 1/3 of a televised love triangle. Stefan, who kinda looks like he doesn't even care anymore, merely tells her to go take a nap and they'll call her from the road. g2g ttyl </3
Elena heads inside to find Caroline, Tyler, Jeremy, Matt and Bonnie getting their drink on in honor of Klaus's demise. It's all fun and games there, but across town Originalaric has decided to throw a slightly more diabolical shindig of his own. He calls an emergency Council meeting at the Lockwood mansion and gets right down to business by revealing both Sheriff Forbes and Mayor Lockwood to be the proud parents of uber-dangerous supernatural undead monsters. Pot calling the kettle black, dude. Also this could be bad. But was Alaric even on the Council? What logical reason would any of these people have for trusting the town lush over... anyone else?
Damon does his best to spread the brotherly road trippin' cheer by being all, "How many desiccated Originals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" I'm curious to hear the end of this joke, but Stefan of course thinks it's more important for us to discuss our feelings regarding Elena's earlier meta commentary. After a bit of non-competitive discussion, they mutually agree that the one she doesn't choose will leave town without a fight and then they will go back to being brothers again after she dies. Which makes me think. I didn't realize that The Decision To End All Decisions would be so imminent, but I honestly think the most rational choice for her to make would be... neither of them. She has already stated that she has no desire to become a vampire, and with that comes the fact that she will continue to age while they will not, and she will eventually outgrow them both, physically speaking. Now, I don't watch this show for the romance aspect and frankly I don't have a particularly strong opinion either way who she chooses because I know it won't actually be all that ends all, but in the spirit of over-analyzing things way too much, they would all probably be better off if she did what Katherine should have done by letting them go about their lives free from the fierce allure of her almighty specialness. But I know that won't happen. And I wouldn't want it to.
Back home, the party has come to an end so Jeremy and Elena have gone right back to repainting Alaric’s room. Elena really should be lying down at this point, but painting is just so much more therapeutic, you know? Jeremy abruptly announces that he is off to take a shower, which clearly means something bad is about to happen. And it does mere seconds after he leaves the room, when Elena reacts to a sudden pain before collapsing to the floor as blood flows freely from her nose. Just like Bonnie taught her. I knew she should have been lying down.
Elena heads inside to find Caroline, Tyler, Jeremy, Matt and Bonnie getting their drink on in honor of Klaus's demise. It's all fun and games there, but across town Originalaric has decided to throw a slightly more diabolical shindig of his own. He calls an emergency Council meeting at the Lockwood mansion and gets right down to business by revealing both Sheriff Forbes and Mayor Lockwood to be the proud parents of uber-dangerous supernatural undead monsters. Pot calling the kettle black, dude. Also this could be bad. But was Alaric even on the Council? What logical reason would any of these people have for trusting the town lush over... anyone else?
Damon does his best to spread the brotherly road trippin' cheer by being all, "How many desiccated Originals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" I'm curious to hear the end of this joke, but Stefan of course thinks it's more important for us to discuss our feelings regarding Elena's earlier meta commentary. After a bit of non-competitive discussion, they mutually agree that the one she doesn't choose will leave town without a fight and then they will go back to being brothers again after she dies. Which makes me think. I didn't realize that The Decision To End All Decisions would be so imminent, but I honestly think the most rational choice for her to make would be... neither of them. She has already stated that she has no desire to become a vampire, and with that comes the fact that she will continue to age while they will not, and she will eventually outgrow them both, physically speaking. Now, I don't watch this show for the romance aspect and frankly I don't have a particularly strong opinion either way who she chooses because I know it won't actually be all that ends all, but in the spirit of over-analyzing things way too much, they would all probably be better off if she did what Katherine should have done by letting them go about their lives free from the fierce allure of her almighty specialness. But I know that won't happen. And I wouldn't want it to.
Back home, the party has come to an end so Jeremy and Elena have gone right back to repainting Alaric’s room. Elena really should be lying down at this point, but painting is just so much more therapeutic, you know? Jeremy abruptly announces that he is off to take a shower, which clearly means something bad is about to happen. And it does mere seconds after he leaves the room, when Elena reacts to a sudden pain before collapsing to the floor as blood flows freely from her nose. Just like Bonnie taught her. I knew she should have been lying down.
Quotes
Damon (to Bonnie)- “Digital locator spell. Why do we need you, then?”
Originalaric - “Your parents led the Council. It was their life’s mission to keep this town safe.They weren’t dead six months before you undid it all.”
Damon - "You know how these things pan out, Stefan. She'll probably make a list of pros and cons, and at the end of the day dump both our asses."
Highlight of the Night
Klaus - “Just between us girls, who would you have picked?”
Episode MVP
Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence for The Lord Niklaus.
Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence for The Lord Niklaus.
